


lantern light

by MithrilWren



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Conversations, Day At The Beach, Ficlet, Friendship, Gen, Self-Reflection, or more specifically 'evening at the beach'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 02:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21008093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MithrilWren/pseuds/MithrilWren
Summary: A coda to an adventure not yet finished: Caleb and Beau discuss the inherent risks of summoning unknown, powerful wizards for aid.(Set after the M9 finish their Yussa rescue mission, whenever that might be.)





	lantern light

“So, Allura.”

“Hmm?”

“Seems cool. I guess.”

Caleb peers up over the edge of his book at Beau. He’d been trying to extract the nibs of sand that had wormed their way into the crease, digging his thumb between the pages and painstakingly plucking out grain after grain. Books should not _crunch_ when read. A few grains still cling to his nail and he rubs them onto his pantleg before answering.

“I suppose so.”

Yussa’s tower is farther off from the beach, a ten minute walk at least, but its shadow still seems to overshadow their little spot of sand. The rest of the Nein are splashing about in the surf - save Nott, who chose to spend the few hours of illusions she has with her son, back in the Lavish Chateau. Beau is sunbathing, supposedly, though Caleb doesn’t believe it - more of her tanned skin is covered now than ever, with one of Marion’s old shawls wrapped around her shoulders. It _is_ chilly, he realizes, and only then does a shiver crawl down his spine.

“You know, for a second there, I was afraid Yussa’s ‘ally’ was gonna be one of your old pals.” Beau looks at him significantly. He rubs his hands together. All along the shore, little bonfires are beginning to spring up: a ward against the chill of the gathering evening, for those not yet ready to return to their homes. The wood must be wet, judging by the black columns of smoke that spiral into the salty air. 

He thinks of Reani, and wonders if she could teach him to produce flame that does not burn. Wonders if it would still feel the same.

“Yussa is no friend to the Empire,” he answers, and doesn’t. “He told us so, before.”

“Yeah,” says Beau, still staring. He digs his nail back into the crease of his book. “Still. You weren’t worried?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Beau lies back, her hands behind her head. “Thought you’d put up more of a fight, to be honest.”

He shrugs. “I think it was you who told me that my… ‘trauma’ does not always make me the authority on right and wrong.” Beau winces, almost imperceptibly. “It was a safe bet. A risk worth taking.”

“But you were still scared, right?”

“…Does it matter? It needed to be done. Yussa will be a great asset for us, you saw how grateful he-”

“It does matter. To me, at least.” He laughs, startled and a little less bitter than he expects. He doesn’t know how else to respond. Is he supposed to hug Beau now? Tell her the same thing? 

He’s learned, from one man at first and then from everything that came after, to treat feelings as distractions, unless they spur you towards a purpose. His fear was very useful, at one point. It kept him and Nott safe. But things are different now. They have allies, and resources, and he’s been thinking that it might be time to put it aside, add it to the pile of emotions that accomplish nothing on their own.

“Well,” he says, breathing out slowly. “Ok.”

She turns on her side, propped up on one elbow to face him. “I’m bad at this, you know. Being comforting and shit.” There’s vulnerability there in her eyes, a question unspoken. _Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m not fucking this up every time I open my mouth._

He had no idea how to read Beau when they first met. He misses that ignorance, sometimes, but he can’t help himself from cataloguing the chinks in her many-layered armor. That he could hurt her now, so much deeper than he could before, isn’t something he relishes.

“I know. But I appreciate it anyway.”

She smiles a little at that, then closes her eyes. Good. He turns his attention back to the bonfires, studying their twinkling light as the sun finally dips below the horizon.

“I liked her,” he decides.

“Hmm?” Beau peeks one eye open.

“Allura.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “She was pretty awesome.”

“She will regret meeting us, I think.”

“_Yup_.”

Beau falls silent after that, and that’s alright. There isn’t anything else that needs to be said. After a time, he looks over and finds that she’s asleep, soft snores drowned out by the crashing of the waves. He reaches over and pulls the shawl back over her shoulders, and wonders when the others will return. He’d like to get back in time to say goodnight to Nott before she and Yeza turn in, but there’s no rush. For the first time in a long time, they have nowhere they particularly need to be.

Caleb watches the fires flicker out, one by one. It’s a cold night, made colder by the ocean breeze, but there are parts of him that feel impossibly warm.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little thing, written for the-littlest-goblin's prompt of 'Beau/Caleb bonding'.


End file.
